LAST WORDS
What would you say to someone who was dying that you loved, cherished, and cared about your entire life and that you don’t know a world without him or her in it. What would you say if you had only a couple of minutes to have one last conversation? My Nan, Ena Priddle was one of the most important people in my life. On February 8, 2020 I was granted the chance to talk to her one last time.
In January 2020, Nan had a stoke. After a few weeks of fighting for her life like the warrior she was, she remained in pallative care during her final days. My favorite aunt, Diane Murphy, gave me the number to Nan’s hospital room, answered the phone when I called, and placed it next to her ear so that I could speak with Nan one final time. From what I am able to remember about that day, the only words I could blurt out to her were, “I love you Nan.” As I heard her struggling to answer me, I realized at that moment how lucky I was to have that opportunity before she passed away to tell her I loved her.
It was during those couple of minutes that it felt as though my entire life from childhood, teenage, and adult years up to that moment were being replayed before me. I neither wanted to monopolize the phone line nor compromise Nan’s health; therefore, I kept my conversation short. If I had more time to speak to her I would have thanked her for loving me unconditionally. I would have thanked her for always having my back. I would have thanked her for teaching me right from wrong.
I recall this one time in particular back in 1980. I was walking home from school to her house when a van full of people pulled up along the side of the road on Main Street and asked me if I wanted a ride. The lady on the passenger side who rolled down the window to speak to me was smiling, and she looked very friendly.
When I got inside the van I noticed that everybody was smoking and laughing; I thought to myself that they seemed like such nice people. There was nowhere for me to sit; the van was packed full of men and women, so I sat on the bed in the back. I asked them if they slept in that bed and they cracked up laughing. There was a table in the back of the van with a bean bag ash tray full of cigarette butts. The driver turned up the radio really loud.
They must have been passing through town because they were not familiar with the street that Nan lived on, so I was more than happy to give them directions. They sped all the way to Nan and Pop’s house. I waved good bye to them as they tore out of the driveway. Nan came out of the house and asked me who those people were. She was not very pleased with me after I told her that I just met them.
She got so angry with me and told me that I was never supposed to get picked up on the side of the road with random strangers. It was the first time that anyone had ever told me that. The fact that they were smiling and laughing and seemed like nice people, and that I had a fun time was not in Nan’s opinion a valid reason to accept rides from strangers.
If I could have, I would have told Nan that I never forgot all the times she called my house and did the impressions of all of the characters of the Archie comics and cartoon series. I would have thanked her for being such a trooper and allowing me to speak with every one of the characters which included Betty, Veronica, Jughead, Reggie, Mr. Weatherby, and Mrs. Grundy. I’m sure nan had no idea what she was getting herself into doing all of those impressions. She did that for me every night for a couple of weeks until I grew bored of Archie and moved on the next childhood fad of the 1980’s.
If I had unlimited time, I would have thanked Nan for always accepting me as is and never encouraged me to be anybody other than myself. After I finished my first degree in 2001, I had no job and a lot of student loan debt. In 2006 I went to teach English Second Language in South Korea. After I left South Korea I went to Mexico to teach. I know she never wanted me to move that far away, but she never tried to convince me that neither my jobs nor my life choices were wrong.
I love you and miss you Nan. You will always be with me. I will always remember the fun times I had having sleep overs at your house. I will never forget those times we had marshmellow roasts and throwing rocks in the water at little Port Harmon. I will always remember those trips we took to Corner Brook to visit your sister Margorie; those were some of the happiest times in my life.
This one time in particular that sticks out in my mind was while we were driving home from little Port Harmon we saw these two boys hitch hiking on the side of the road. You picked them up and drove them back to town. They said that their buddies left them stranded. You told me after we dropped them off that I should never ever pick up strangers, and that I should never hitch hike. I never did pick up a hitch hiker or hitch hiked myself; thank you Nan for all those wonderful childhood memories.
I will never forget my first day of kindergarten. You took me to school and I didn’t want to go because I knew it meant I would have to spend half the day in school instead of spending it with you. I cried as I entered the classroom and looked at you through the small window on the room door. You stood outside my classroom and watched me through the window and I knew that you weren’t going to leave me until I gave you the knod signal that I was ok. As I saw your face diseappear from the window I dried my eyes from my tear- stained face, as I knew you would pick me up after school; I will never forget that day.
I will also never forget that you always told me that every time a friend or a boyfriend treated me badly, that I was too good for them and that karma would take care of them because I was better off withouth them. I remember you also told me that every time I interviewed and got turned down for a job that I was too good to work there anyways and that establishement never deserved me. I will always remember those conversations we had.
Another one of my favorite childhood memories is when you were delivering Christmas turkeys for the Anglican Church. You let me ride around with you in the back of your station wagon. The ones who received those turkeys maybe wouldn’t have been so appreciative if they knew that I had sat on some of them.
I always loved those times you took me to bingo with you. I admired you for driving those ladies you picked up and drove home. I remember asking them if they knew how to drive and they all replied no. I always thought you were such a cool bad ass Nan who knew how to drive and drove those ladies to bingo. Thank you for taking me with you and letting me into your world as my grandmother and allowing me to see it through my eyes as your grandchild.
My world without you will never be the same. I will always carry with me the good times, memories, and the unconditional love you gave. Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven Nan.