You’re Doing Your Best
I never expected this to happen during my forties. I certainly wasn’t expecting my Dad to pass away three weeks ago from a sudden heart attack. I always thought my father would be in my life until I was at least 60 years old. My Dad and I were very close; I visited him on my days off from work.
Knowing that I will never visit him again is not a realisation I was expecting to face this year. I am also deeply saddened by the fact that I did not get to visit my Dad during his final days as he and my stepmom were quarantined after their return from Arizona. Losing somebody close to you is terrible enough, but losing a loved one during a worldwide pandemic is brutal for many reasons.
One reason is though I have received many calls, texts, and emails from friends and relatives, I am not able to physically visit anyone due to social distancing. Another reason why it really sucks to lose somebody close to you during this time is due to social isolation, family members and friends cannot offer their condolences in person. COVID-19 is preventing my family from having a funeral service or celebration of life at this time.
As much as I miss my father, and am doing my best to continue to function normally, I know that I am not the only person on the planet who is presently grieving a loss. The world is undergoing a universal grieving period, as we are all affected by COVID-19. People have lost all social connections, jobs, and livelihoods. Social gatherings and events have been postponed until further notice; social interaction has been prohibited; family festivities and holidays such as Easter, birthdays, anniversaries have been currently put on hold. The world as we knew it and everyone in it has been placed in a holding pattern for an unknown period of time.
It is during this present moment that every individual is profoundly affected and emotionally impacted by a social phenomenon. I wish I had some advice or answers to everyone during this terrible time. The only advice I have to offer is as follows:
To those of you who have stayed home today in support of social isolation, I know you did your best; I offer you my thanks. For those of you who work in an essential business and went to work today, I know you too did your best, and for that I thank you. For those of you who did your weekly yoga, spinning, Pilates, or whatever class online today, you did your best.
To those of you who worked from home today, I know you did your best. For those of you who felt trapped from social isolation that you went for a drive today, I know you did your best. To those of you who went for a walk today, you did your best. For those of you who went to the store today to buy food for your family, you did the best you could. To those of you who are hoarding toilet paper and Lysol wipes in your home, you’re doing your best.
For those of you who took two naps today, you too did your best. For those of you who read a book today or watched the news you also did your best. For those of you who cried today, you also did your best. To those of you who smiled today, you did your best.
For those of you who ordered take out for your family today, you did your best. For those of you who cooked a meal for your family, you did your best. To those of you struggling with addiction who have relapsed due to present ceasing of support groups and social contacts, you have done the best you can. If you are feeling, depressed, alone, happy, angry, then I assure you that your feelings are validated and you’re absolutely doing your best.
If you feel the need to scream as loudly as you can as nothing seems to no longer make sense, then please do so. I have done this recently and, though for a short period of time, felt pretty good. If you are letting your children watch TV for hours while social isolating you are still doing the best you can. If you are binge watching your favorite TV shows, eating too much or too little, you are doing your best. If you watched the news today for the latest information on COVID-19, or if you turned off the TV because you are tired of listening to discussion on the pandemic, than you still did your best.
If you shovelled your driveway today because you needed fresh air and exercise, than you deserve a pat on the back. If you chose not to shovel your driveway and instead took a nap, that is ok too. If you got dressed today and took a shower, I offer my two thumbs up to you. If you decided not to shower or get dressed at all today or this week, it’s ok. You too, did your best and I respect and commend you for it.
If you feel tired, overwhelmed, anxious, restless, irritable, during all of this, your feelings are valid. You are doing the best that you can with the current situation that everyone is in at this moment in time. So please everybody, if you feel pissed off at the world right now at the state that it is in, it is ok to have those feelings. It is ok to feel what you feel. You are validated, valuable, and important.
Your presence and contribution to society is noticed. You are not alone in this world. You are grieving; we are all grieving. We are all in this together, and together we will make it through. Stay safe physically and mentally through this unexpected and unpredictable time.
What are some activities that you are doing while practicing social distancing?